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Post by kieladar on Mar 29, 2014 16:04:45 GMT -8
Don't comment if you're just going to say it's dumb or whatever I researched was dumb. If you want to comment, constructive criticism and thoughtful build-upons are very welcome. Also, any critiquing on my writing is welcome since this is the UN-EDITED version. WARNING: IT IS UN-EDITED AND 14 PAGES LONG. ALSO HAVE MICROSOFT WORD. If you don't and want to read it, just ask me to post it in a comment. I'm sure you'd love it read it then. |
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Post by dclxvi on Mar 29, 2014 20:44:17 GMT -8
Read it all.
A few formatting errors but if you teacher wants it inked in cattle blood on a dried-semen parchment with the 2nd letter of every word omitted... I guess you better do it that way. So can't really comment on that.
Presentation or turn-in? Couldn't find any glaring syntax errors your teacher is apt to freak out over, but I could definitely help alter some wordings to make the entire thing more clear for oration.
For example; "“I am glad to be living in a country where cancer patients are not left to die untreated” (Maynard, 2009). Graph 3 shows that, in most cases, Canadians are normally more healthy than Americans.
If you plan on reading this paper, change that to: In 2009, Billy-Bob Maynard wrote "....................", and we see that illustrated in graph 3; for the majority of cases, Canadians are in general healthier than Americans.
There are also a few cases of taking the 'easy word' out. First sentence, last paragraph: The Canadian health system is has been wide and varied since the introduction of universal health care. Again, some teachers want Mencken, others will settle for Hunter Thompson. My experience was a ton of lit professors and whatnot that probably jacked it to Downton Abbey. In your field, every correction I point out might amount to the difference between an A and an A.
Edit - Just realized I got suckered into helping you do your homework.
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