Post by dclxvi on Jan 27, 2014 19:21:25 GMT -8
1) Which rank are you requesting?
I'M A CHAMPION!
2) Do you meet the outlined criteria for your Promotion (copy and paste the specific requirements)?
I think so, what was the middle part again?
3) Why do you want a Promotion?
4) What’s your current In-Game Battle Rank?
Roundabout 16 stone. Sorry... 5 twain.
5) Looking at your certifications page, what Infantry Class/Vehicle do you have the most percentage unlocked with?
Mossie with a whopping over 50% something.
6) Tell me a Joke!
So a family walks into a talent agency. Normal, all-American family. 2 kids - a boy and a girl, and a brown dog with floppy ears. The talent agent asks them "So what is it you do?" and within seconds the family is stripping off all their clothes. Even the dog, who was wearing one of those old people diapers, slowly disrobed himself with his teeth. The mother, being ever the stoic matriarch, does a handstand and her husband grabs a handful of her bush and just yanks it right the fuck off. Then he starts running around the room like Rip Taylor and tossing his wife's pubes in the air like confetti. Meanwhile, the son takes the dogs diaper, squats down and takes a massive shit in it. Then he puts the shitty diaper on his sisters head and she get up on his shoulders. The son starts running around the room making engine noises while his sister yells "I'M AMELIA FUCKING EARHART!" at the top her her lungs.
The father, who's now completely out of confetti pubes, runs back over to his wife and punches her in the pubis mons as hard as he can, causing her to fall flat on her ass with a thud. Then he starts jerking off all over the dog. Within minutes, he spraying cum all over the dog's face and into his fur (which must be how the dog keeps such a shiny coat... I'm just saying). The dog, who now has a massive boner, leaps onto the mother and starts fucking her in the ass. The kids, who've now completed their trans-Atlantic journey, jump onto the literal dog-pile and start smearing shit all over the mother and the dog. The father grabs a handful of the shit and smears it all over his face, and begins dancing the old soft shoe while singing 'My Mammy' in his best Al Jolson impression. Then the little girl grabs a bucket and the whole family takes a piss into it. Then they grab a hula hoop, coat it in lighter fluid and set it ablaze. The son grabs the lighter fluid and starts spraying it all over the dog, who's now covered in cum and shit and his owners' sweat (ewwww dat sweat!). So the son grabs the lighter used to ignite the hula hoop and he tosses it at the dog, setting it completely on fire. The dog is yelping in agonizing pain, as would make sense. Burning dogs tend not to be entirely calm. So the burning dog goes into a full stride, leaping through the flaming hula hoop and extinguishing himself in the bucket of piss.
The talent agent sits there for a second, rapping his fingers on his desk. He then nods and says "Interesting act, what do you guys call yourselves?".
The father steps forward and puffs out his chest and proudly exclaims "The Aristocrats!" and they all take a bow.
I'M A CHAMPION!
2) Do you meet the outlined criteria for your Promotion (copy and paste the specific requirements)?
I think so, what was the middle part again?
3) Why do you want a Promotion?
4) What’s your current In-Game Battle Rank?
Roundabout 16 stone. Sorry... 5 twain.
5) Looking at your certifications page, what Infantry Class/Vehicle do you have the most percentage unlocked with?
Mossie with a whopping over 50% something.
6) Tell me a Joke!
So a family walks into a talent agency. Normal, all-American family. 2 kids - a boy and a girl, and a brown dog with floppy ears. The talent agent asks them "So what is it you do?" and within seconds the family is stripping off all their clothes. Even the dog, who was wearing one of those old people diapers, slowly disrobed himself with his teeth. The mother, being ever the stoic matriarch, does a handstand and her husband grabs a handful of her bush and just yanks it right the fuck off. Then he starts running around the room like Rip Taylor and tossing his wife's pubes in the air like confetti. Meanwhile, the son takes the dogs diaper, squats down and takes a massive shit in it. Then he puts the shitty diaper on his sisters head and she get up on his shoulders. The son starts running around the room making engine noises while his sister yells "I'M AMELIA FUCKING EARHART!" at the top her her lungs.
The father, who's now completely out of confetti pubes, runs back over to his wife and punches her in the pubis mons as hard as he can, causing her to fall flat on her ass with a thud. Then he starts jerking off all over the dog. Within minutes, he spraying cum all over the dog's face and into his fur (which must be how the dog keeps such a shiny coat... I'm just saying). The dog, who now has a massive boner, leaps onto the mother and starts fucking her in the ass. The kids, who've now completed their trans-Atlantic journey, jump onto the literal dog-pile and start smearing shit all over the mother and the dog. The father grabs a handful of the shit and smears it all over his face, and begins dancing the old soft shoe while singing 'My Mammy' in his best Al Jolson impression. Then the little girl grabs a bucket and the whole family takes a piss into it. Then they grab a hula hoop, coat it in lighter fluid and set it ablaze. The son grabs the lighter fluid and starts spraying it all over the dog, who's now covered in cum and shit and his owners' sweat (ewwww dat sweat!). So the son grabs the lighter used to ignite the hula hoop and he tosses it at the dog, setting it completely on fire. The dog is yelping in agonizing pain, as would make sense. Burning dogs tend not to be entirely calm. So the burning dog goes into a full stride, leaping through the flaming hula hoop and extinguishing himself in the bucket of piss.
The talent agent sits there for a second, rapping his fingers on his desk. He then nods and says "Interesting act, what do you guys call yourselves?".
The father steps forward and puffs out his chest and proudly exclaims "The Aristocrats!" and they all take a bow.